I am trying for a new phone.

Well you all know me and technology, sprint is releasing a new phone next month that I want, so I sat down with a virtual pen and paper and penned the following to the nice people at sprint:

Dear Sprint Customer Service,

I appeal to you today to help me with my addiction. I am addicted to technology! Yes it's true, I have to have the latest and the greatest, I have had some of the greatest phones, the Treo 700w, the HTC Touch & Currently the HTC Mogul. However my addiction rages on, and I am getting the shakes and an uncontrollable urge for a new phone. I have gone for counseling, and my Audiologist, Technologist & Sprintologist have all written me the same prescription: the all new soon to be released HTC Touch pro, DAW (Distribute as written, no generic substitution). Unfortunately due to the uniqueness of this medication and the limited availability Anthem has a $500+ copay. Therefore in the all American spirit of blaming the drug dealer, I hereby lay squarely the blame with you, Sprint, for offering the latest high tech devices to me your addicted customer. As such I feel it is only fair that you provide me with the solution to my needs. I will say that I have been warned that it will be up to 30 days till this script is filled. On my part I am willing to contribute the following: Last week I had to make an insurance claim due to water damage to my phone (the HTC Mogul), The insurance company sent me a brand new in box phone which has yet to be opened, In exchange for Sprint accepting liability for my copay I will gift my phone to you still new in box, with a sprintpcs.com retail value of $549. You can reach me via my Sprint PCS Paraphernalia, 770-875-4167 or via this email address. Meds should be sent to: 7565 Elbrook Ave. Cincinnati, OH 45237

Yours Truly, 

Menachem Lipszyc

In the event that this fails I ask you all to join me in writing letters to congress, senate, and future presidents demanding stricter laws to protect technologeeks from discrimination by the insurance companies. 

P.S. anybody knows if medicaid covers this?